Welcome - Come one, Come all

Welcome to the Lamp News-Herald-Courier-Times-Post-Daily.

We here as the LampNews Industries are committed to giving you the best and most comprehensive coverage of the Lamp family.

Our company was founded long ago, when the Lamps came across from Scotland in the early part of the 1700s. In the 300 years since, LampNews Industries has developed into a very small, but deadly efficient unit.

Our network contains this site as well as links to my brother's site. We'll cover all the angles - from Baby Jack's first birthday (coming in Sept. 2009), as well as the birth of little Stevie or Molly in June.

LampNews Industries promises the most complete coverage. We hope you enjoy it.

Now onto the news...

- Joel and Bonnie Lamp have returned back to Jacksonville, Florida - with beautiful weather greeting them upon their 10-hour trek back from Alabama. The trip included stops at several state rest areas (the one outside of Dothan is quite nice for a small blip on the radar), as well as stop at the world famous Sikes & Cohn shoe store outside of Troy - where Bonnie bought a pair of open-ended tennis shoes (Ed. Note - who the heck knew that you could even buy those?)

- Joel has hit the road again - hitting the exotic hot spots of Johnson City, Tenn. and Spartanburg, S.C. Nothing beats 10 hours on a bus trip watching bad movies as loud as humanly possible without bursting your ear drums. Rumor has it that a pair of soundproof headphones are on the docket for being purchased in the near future but we have yet to get confirmation.

- By the way, it is now confirmed that Joel is the new patriarch of the family - being the elder statesman of the clan. Since taking the office, he's brought a new "Godfather-esque" approach to the position - giving many people an offer they can't refuse.

- There is eagerness in Jax-vegas for Jan. 14 and Bonnie's monthly trip to the girlie doctor. It is believed that on the trip the sex of the newest Lamp will be determined. LampNews is happy to confirm that if it is a little boy, it will be named Joel Steven Lamp, II, and will go by his middle name - little Stevie (at least while he's little).

If the youngster is a girl, there are two named being bandied about at the Lamp house now. Rumors persist that Bonnie is dead set on Molly Claire Lamp while Joel is pushing a traditional Southern name - like Scarlett Susannah Lamp (although naming a girl S.S. Lamp would not be a good idea. One of the two "S" names is what he's pushing at this point).

There is some disappointment in Decatur with several family members not being in the naming process. Grandmother Clara Meares was hoping for Clara Jo Lamp, which had a snowball's chance in hell of coming true.

- Another disappointment came when Joel found out that it would not be possible for him to actually be the Godfather for his nephew Jack, since the Presbyterians do not acknowledge the position. He tried to give them an offer they couldn't refuse to make it happen, but he made an offer to one person that could refure - God.

"It's a shame that the Presbyterians do not acknowledge this position as I believe this will be a great honor for both Jack and myself," Joel was quoted as saying. "While we don't agree with this position, we have to respect their beliefs."

When asked whether his child would have a Godfather, Joel was taken aback.

"I'm going to have to do some research as to what church we'll be attending at that point,"Joel said. "We're currently looking at our options and their is a really nice Hindu temple down the road that has a great Sunday brunch. I've always wanted to swim in the Ganges River, so it may work out for all of us."